jl_dearscarlettThe following submission and any other submissions to “Dear Scarlett” are by independent contributors who have agreed to our terms of use.  We are so appreciative for their work and encourage them or any other interested parties to contact us for online publication.  Now, let’s get down and dirty…

Did you fuck her? I did! In the ass? Right-on and high fives all around!  What a nice segue to discuss the upcoming ball game.  Sorry guys, but this anal conversation had nothing to do with sex and all to do with dominance and showing off.  For eons, when someone offers you their backside for penetration willingly or unwillingly, it typically signifies the ultimate form of submission. And like rape, which is a non-sexual and violent act, fucking you in the ass makes you a man’s trophy. The reason why watching a woman penetrated in her backside might be so high on the male arousal scale is because it could be the only moment left in our bent gender confusion where men feel powerful. Perhaps that’s why clenching teeth, while pumping the shit out of the perfectly receptive partner, has become the norm in men’s favorite entertainment choice: porn. Again, we are not talking sex.

The real turn on for men is the idea of a woman wanting anal sex.  Because we more commonly see women needing to be coaxed into the act, the thought of getting a woman who openly exhibits her anal dedication is a turn on.  As Scarlett Stone once mentioned, and everyone hopefully realizes by now, porn is not reality. In reality, you don’t get ass just because you want to.  Women got wise to this too. They increasingly use the anal act for special occasions or as a reward for marriage. Women have always known about the power of the P, but those gals who know the power of the A truly own men.

So guys, let’s turn this puppy around more in our favor. How can we become anal magicians? Scarlett requests, “What you want to do to me, I got to do to you first.” This is actually a wise demand to connect sexually with your partner. This might sound gay, but it’s really not.  In order to drive your tool into where the sun don’t shine, you have to be open to experiencing the feeling yourself. I would suggest not by your lady or another guy, but by yourself.  This way you begin to understand how it feels to put something like an average cock up someone’s rectum. It’s like saying you know sex because you saw it on TV. You just can’t read up on that. You have to experience it to know how and what you are doing.

As a means to lessen your panic, look at this experimentation as research.  While you are at it, try to loosen up by playing a little with your lubricated sphincter and observe how long it takes till that sucker softens and opens up. Since I don’t assume you have dildos laying around in your sock drawer, use an empty beer/wine bottle (not the twist top kind!). Lube up thoroughly, slowly insert, and you won’t believe what you will feel. This experience, as gay, hurtful or humiliating as you think it is, really is worth the sensation.  Your new-found knowledge will not only surprise your girl, but it will also take away the awkwardness of that first insertion. You will be able to connect with her on a totally different level, and hopefully, she’ll return your sensibility and playfulness with moans of pleasure.

Your main goal is to create a sexual power play where your woman gets so turned on that all she wants is you, no matter what and without acting, now. Her desire will get her off and also, make you ejaculate faster than you can say the word cuming.  In addition, you can save your final obligatory question of, “Did you like it?”  You know she did.  And guess who’s the playa without using his pimp hand?

If you like the occasional finger play from your girl or get curious when experimenting with your own sphincter, you can integrate mutual anal play with your girl. Perhaps the biggest point here is that anal play does not only mean pumping one’s rectum to come to completion. Rather, it’s a part of heightening each other’s pleasure for mutual satisfaction. Most girls like to change it up, and doing it this way will definitely do the job.

So happy anal to all of you.