The year was 2008 on a college campus not too far from the Juliland Lair. The only two females present (quite proudly, I might add) in Ackerman Grand Ballroom were Jane and myself. And needless to say, we found ourselves surrounded by semen a sea full of men at the University of California Los Angeles [...]
The experience was neither memorable nor stimulating, but as I sit here at my computer, I try my very hardest to recall the time I popped his cherry. Our relationship (if you’d even call it that) was quickly over after a couple months of fogging up the windows of my Toyota Rav4. The seats would [...]
For some, nookie in the dark is just how it’s done. The familiar becomes grinding in a black abyss or making love in the vaguely obscure – unknowingly, the encounter censors the brilliance of genital upon genital and skin against skin. Some may call it preferably routine, but I call it criminal. When you have [...]
In the midst of watching your all-time favorite film, have you ever paused and considered why it received either a G, PG, PG-13, R or NC-17 rating? Believe it or not, a movie could be between an R and NC-17 rating just based on the amount of pelvic area shown or the number of times [...]
For those of you who prefer Just Bunches cereal to its Honey Bunches of Oats counterpart, this toy of the month was made specifically for you. California Exotic’s 7-Function Silicone Luxe Embrace is essentially just the rabbit from their notorious Jackrabbit line, an adult product that fundamentally revolutionized sex toys and novelty production. Now, vibrator [...]
What do Marilyn Monroe and a side of cream have in common? The Blonde Roast, of course! While your dirty little mind may have initially taken you to a swinging 60’s fetishization of the blonde bombshell herself and your cream, I am here to sadly inform you that this joke starts and ends with coffee [...]
