The concept of lingerie football originated from the Super Bowl halftime alternative television special called the “Lingerie Bowl.” It draws millions of viewers as a pay-per-view event broadcast annually and directly opposite the Super Bowl halftime show. Playing style is full-contact (similar to other indoor football leagues), and uniforms consist of shoulder pads, elbow pads, knee pads, garters, bras, panties, and ice-hockey-style helmets with clear plastic visors in lieu of face masks.
While I have not personally participated in the Lingerie Bowl, Dick Avery and myself have many mutual friends that have in the past – these women are drop dead gorgeous, extremely smart, charismatic, and have strong athletic ability. They could probably whip Dick’s ass if he wasn’t always MIA!
It is important to note that these women’s skills in football (a male-driven sport) are highly creditable and impressive. It’s for this reason alone that I strongly feel they should be given the chance to play fully-clothed and under the same conditions as their male counter parts. But, would my utopian ideal of a “non-lingerie football” league get the same press and attention? Fuck, no! I’m not blind to the fact that women playing an all-American sport in lingerie makes viewers sit on the edge of their seats and “run to the bathroom” during commercial breaks (we all know what you’re doing in there fellas!).
Ok, so Lingerie Bowl is here to stay and my utopian ideal of “non-lingerie football” will never be realized despite how many nights I’ve prayed and wined to Dick about it. So, I’m here to propose another solution, or rather, bring up another issue that should be equally recognized – why is there no fucking Boxers and Briefs Bowl for the NFL?
The National Football League can blame this disparity on double standards all they want. They may even claim that women would not have the same desire as men to watch the opposite sex playing football in their underwear. But let’s face this problem head on shall we? – If men can watch half-naked women running around and tackling one another, then I should be allowed to watch NFL players doing the same! I’d imagine that if that was the case, the sport would be very uncomfortable for straight men to watch, and instead a guilty pleasure for women. But I will tell you right now – I would never feel guilty about watching something as delicious as that.
Yours Truly,
Scarlett Stone
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