Ben Lewin’s The Sessions tells the very real story of a man confined to an iron lung who desires nothing more than to lose his virginity. With the support of his therapist and priest, Mark O’Brien (played by John Hawkes) contacts a sexual surrogate, Cheryl Cohen Greene (played by Helen Hunt), for a truly therapeutic process of sexual discovery. But before the two begin their very first session in bed, Cheryl tells Mark, “I’m not a prostitute; you don’t have to pay me up front.” While this initial declaration to Mark may function as a means to sooth his virginity-loosing jitters, I believe there’s much more weight to it. Firstly, her statement allows viewers to discern that there is in fact a line between prostitution and sexual surrogacy. And secondly, it creates a professional atmosphere that is often absent from a transaction between a hooker and a John.
The distinction between a sexual surrogate and a hooker is one that’s so chocked full of grey areas that not even E.L. James could decipher their variances. But after much research and investigation, I’ve found that it ultimately comes down to a matter of intention and academic credibility. That being said, I do think it’s important to acknowledge to the extremely long history of the hooker. While sexual surrogates have really only been around since the 1970’s, prostitutes have ruled the world ever since their first appearance in 2400 B.C. when they were included on an ancient list of Sumerian professions. While prostitutes and hookers may have longevity and experience over their scholarly counterparts, it’s the aspect of academic knowledge that makes the sexual surrogate more reliable to prospective clients.
The sexual surrogate’s roots date back to 1957 when Masters and Johnson (William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson) devoted their time and energy to the cause of human sexuality and response. Their thorough research spanned over thirty years and was later published in a book titled Human Sexual Inadequacy (1970). It was in this work that the concepts of vaginal lubrication and multi-orgasmic releases were confirmed as very real and very, very physically tangible. It was also in this work that Masters and Johnson first introduced the concept of the sexual surrogate. To put it quite simply, a sexual surrogate is an accredited member of a sex therapy team who agrees to have sex with a patient in order to accomplish a therapeutic goal. Hopefully, he or she is at least certified by the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA). In many cases, their work is both in and out of the bedroom, and sessions can take place during sexual intercourse, over the phone, or in broad daylight. Therefore, it’s not so much a matter simply fucking and getting paid for it. Instead, their practice is based in aiding patients through mental roadblocks, physical barriers, and memories of sexual abuse. In some cases a sexual surrogate can make more or less than $300/hour, a rate that is generally not covered by health insurance.
Most sexual surrogates will note that they try to avoid Freudian analysis and as a result, focus less on the psychological process. Rather, their practice lies in relationship and bodywork, a method based heavily in talking, listening and demonstration. But, if you were ask sex workers (i.e. prostitutes, hookers, sensual masseuses, brothel girls, escorts) from all walks of life, I can guarantee you that at least half of them will claim that their work also deals with talking, listening, and demonstrating to their clients certain aspects of sexuality. In numerous cases, half of the interaction is making a John feel comfortable and seeing where his interest lies. In other occurrences, a John will visit a hooker to simply talk, feel companionship, and gain more sexual prowess. All in all, one has to wonder, what is the difference between a hooker and a sexual surrogate? Does the answer lie in Helen Hunt’s thematic quote – if you pay up front, then you’re fucking a hooker, but if you pay after, then you’re “getting healed” by a surrogate? Maybe the only thing separating the two is IPSA certification or a Masters in Psychology? Or perchance it’s defined by one’s intention of desiring money more than being benevolent?
As these questions swim around like sperm in my head, it’s becoming more and more apparent that the line between a hooker and a sexual surrogate is significantly blurred. A John could be a patient, or a patient a John, sex can be fucking, or sex can be remedial. A hooker can fuck for money and still be considered a lovely humanitarian with an affinity for therapy, while a surrogate can be an asshole to the core with a black heart to match. Ultimately, it seems to be a simple matter of academic credibility, certification, and a cultivated knowledge of how to tickle the senses.
Your’s truly
Scarlett Stone
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Many hookers can make $300 per hour, and many are educated too (particularly your “high-end” escorts). The only real difference I can tell, is that a sex-surrogate’s pimp went to medical school.