About two years back, I participated in a survey at UCLA that was somewhat controversial and humorous in nature – I was asked, along with other female and male students, to come up with as many names, nicknames, and terms in the span of one hour for the vagina. I recently came across this list of madness and I categorized my findings just for my Juliland darlings.  Without further adieu, names for the one, the only, THE VAGINA…

Animal Names: beaver, squirrel, snapper, clam, butterfly, fury rabbit

Weapons/threats: snatch, teeth, jaws, penis eater, penis sucker, meat eater

Phonaesthesia: privates

Food: cherry, bean, pink taco, taco, meat packer, banana split, bologna sandwich, bun, cherry pie, peaches and cream, cookie jar, cookie, goodies, slimy taco, fish taco, Chinese takeout, fruit basket, hot dog bun, crepe, tortilla, peach pit, orange

Nonsense: cooch, cooter, poonani, C.U.Next.Tuesday, poon, poon tang, pussy, cunt, muff, muffler, coochie snortcher, coochie, twat,

Biological: Vag, vajayjay, birth canal, va, baby maker, baby tube, moisture maker, sperm depository, cum recycler, the gine, crotch, vagine, v-j, keigs

Miscellaneous: plant, box, G-spot, gateway to heaven, flapper, hot lips, A Woman’s Best Friend, A Man’s Best Friend, God’s Gift to Men, Penis Pleasurer, Peepee Pleasurer, triangle, squirter, chalice, the Holy Grail, lips, wet lips, Narcissis, My Lady Part, My Lady, Lady Lips, hair pie, red lips, wings, meat curtain, sausage grabber, key hole, tampon holder, uterine slother

Names: Miss V., Rebecca, Princess Peach, Cleopatra, Aphrodite, Venus, The Queen, She, Lady Labial

Location: cave, back hole, hallway, pleasure hole, estrogen well, pink mound, Brazil, down south, south of the border, south pole, valleys, fountain of youth, the canal, restaurant, the abyss, wave pool, down there, my place, Bermuda triangle, garden, forest, jungle, lagoon, fish market, The Holy Channel, love hole, zone, danger zone, danger square, vortex, land of no return, vineyard, oven door, Jurassic Park Greatest Place on Earth, adult Disneyland, river.

Yours truly,
Scarlett Stone