I’m not quite sure if everyone is aware of this, but there is an entire separate sector of men called ‘bros.’ Even within this sector, there are subdivisions and sub-species that are all different, but carry some overlapping traits that unite them as one. Some go by the name of ‘alternative bro’ or ‘water polo bro,’ while others go by the name ‘surfer bro.’ But the ‘frat bro’ – the guy that’s in a fraternity, lives by the house’s codes and morals, and fucks chicks to prove he’s a man – that’s the kind of bro I have had the most experience with in my life.
I have dated them, screwed them, screwed them over, and pumped their kegs and their cocks till their beer came out. I found that most often, I would have to teach them how to fuck, and I became their professor outside of the classroom, instructing them on where the clit is in relation to the G-spot. They were like high school boys in a boys-only club, but their club house was a mansion with Greek letter on the front that shined for the sake of their SigmaChiNuAlphaPhiEpsilonBetaPi alumni – the middle-aged men who remember the “good ole’ days” with “hot babes and beer.”
It recently came to my attention through the words of Patricia Yancey Martin and Robert A. Hummer that frat boys were, in some cases, held accountable for rape on college campuses. They say in their article that statistically, “over 90% of all gang rapes on college campuses involve fraternity men.” Firstly Martin and Hummer made a large error by calling these boys ‘men’ – if anything, they are men-in-training. But was their training raping young college women? Is that what it means to be a man? I sure hope not! Apparently, “the excessive use of alcohol, isolation from external monitoring, treatment of women as prey, use of pornography, approval of violence, and excessive concern with competition are precipitating conditions to gang rape.”
As both a person and a female involved in the adult industry, I understand the impact pornography can have on an individual. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times a guy has assumed I want to be fucked in the ass, have my face covered in cum, and eat another girl’s cunt for his pleasure. Did I say I wanted to do that? Did I tell you that it’s okay for you to ejaculate all over my pretty face? It seems that my consent, and the consent of many women, is unnecessary in these circumstances! And with the rise of rape-porn, the idea of permission may seem entirely foreign to some.
I can’t help but agree with Martin and Hummer and see the correlation between pornography and the ways men behave in the bedroom. From my own experience, I have seen both the positive and negative effects of porn – if utilized properly, it can be an amazing tool to understand your sexuality and what makes you tick. But, it’s important to remember that sex work in general is medium where fantasy (i.e. something from the imagination) comes to life. To assume that all women want to be gagged or desire DP is like assuming Richard Avery grew up in a brothel – there’s a chance it can be true, but you’ll never find out until you simply ask!
So for my men who are reading this AND women alike, I do hope you keep my words in mind. Pay close attention to what your partner says in the bedroom, go in with an open mind, but please DO NOT go in assuming that what you saw on screen is what should be directly imitated during sex. Ask first, say please and thank you, and always eat ice cream after you’ve creamed yourself.